But most importantly, it's a new day. A few years ago I stopped making New Year's resolutions because I just found that they weren't helpful to me. Building up all that energy to do this or do that in the new year just to be back to where you started by Valentine's Day is a waste of time, energy & hope. With that in mind I started going back to the gym in November, because it was time. Why wait for a magical date, time, place or situation to do what you know needs to be done regardless. So yeah, it's a new year, but it's also a new day with new mercies & opportunities today, tomorrow, Independence Day, New Year's Eve and/or whenever you decide to seize it.
I'm writing this from home, as I try to honor a request to come here and get rid of all my old stuff . Not an unreasonable request but SO HARD for some reason. I realize that in the past I have held on to things & people because the the past is certain, and my future has almost always been completely unpredictable & uncertain. My sister drove it home last week when she said "you don't live here anymore, why are you keeping all this stuff" or something to that effect. At the time, I took it for face value, but now it is taking on an even deeper meaning. I physically don't live here anymore, but I also mentally & emotionally don't live here anymore: in these things that I hold on to, the relationships that no longer feed me and to the person I was when all of this was relevant to my life. How can I expect to grow into the person that I aspire to be, the woman God made me, if I hold on to what belonged to the old me. So with that in mind, I'm going back into the trenches.
Good night!
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